Never Enough For You
by TheBoyOnSpinnersEnd
Summary: Jacob has always loved her, been there for her, cared for her, but has it ever been enough? AH! Beta'd by the wonderful Rei! One-Shot for the 'SORT OF BEAUTIFUL' Challenge.


"**SORT OF BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGE" Entry**

**'Never Enough For You'**

**Lauren Jane**

**If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this challenge visit the**

**"SORT OF BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGE" profile page:**

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2046940/**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight characters and related likeness owned by Stephenie Meyer, Little Brown Publishing. No profits have been received in the production of this piece.**

**A/N: Also Rei, if it wasn't for YOU, I wouldn't have done this! Your constant persistence and encouragement means the world! LOVE YA BBZ!**

**

* * *

**

**Never Enough For You**

**_" Love me cancerously, like a salt sore soaked in the sea. High maintenance means you're a gluttonous queen narcissistic and mean." - Ludo, love me dead_**

"He's not worth it Leah. Please stop crying, he is not worth your tears." Jacob was sitting on the Clearwater's couch, in a familiar position, in a familiar situation, Leah crying on his lap. How much he wished she would sit on his lap, other than to cry over her stupid, dumb-ass of a boyfriend, Sam Uley. How a dick like Sam got a beautiful, smart, funny, charismatic girl like Leah Clearwater, and kept her, is a mystery to nearly everyone that knew them. None more so than Jacob Black.

He ran his fingers through her soft, long black hair, just like he knew she wanted when she was upset, which was now. She never let anyone but him do this for her. Her hair was sacred, it was to be looked at, and not touched. That was rule number one when it came to Leah Clearwater but like so many of her other rules, he was the exception. It was so soft and long, a river of silk in his hands. He loved to do this for, he loved to do anything for her, and they both knew it.

----

_It was her Fathers funeral. Leah had never been so upset, distant and angry. Angry with her brother for his ever optimistic view on everything, even this. Angry at her mother for not telling them he was sick. Angry at her dad, for leaving her_. _Jake had always known that the only man ever to have had Leah's heart fully was Harry Clearwater. He had been everything to Leah and Jacob had always seen him as the dad that Billy never would be. It was a big loss to both of them. _

_It had been an hour since the service was over ad everyone had moved to the reception. Everyone but Leah. Jacob was getting worried, she had said that she would make her own way over. Jake at first refused, he didn't want her on her own at a time like this. But she needed space, and he understood that. When it had been his mom's funeral, a couple of years back that is all he had wanted, space, but it had been over an hour and he needed to find her. If not for her only safety, for his sanity. He got up from the table which included Emily and her parents and Sam Uley and his. Everyone on the Rez knew that Joshua Uley was scum and it was a miracle that Sam hadn't turned out that way. If only they saw what Jake did. Emily looked up at him._

_"What's wrong?" She looked so concerned, as if she cared what happened to him. Sometimes he thought that at least Emily would give a damn if he walked off the side of a cliff._

_" Nothing...just gonna get some air." He hated lying to her, he really did, especially when he knew she wouldn't do the same to him._

_" You want me to come with you?" He could see it again, the love she had for him. Why the hell couldn't he just love her back? Why instead did he have to love Leah? Why not the one person who gave a damn about him? Why was he such a masochist?_

_" Nah, it's okay, you stay here inside. Plus I think it's raining, I don't want you getting a cold on me now." He went over to her and gave her a hug. He knew she needed it. After all Harry was her uncle. She was hurting too._

_He stepped outside. There was a bitter frosty wind blowing, the rain pelting down hard on his face making it sting. He could hardly see but carried on toward the cemetery. He knew he would find her there. He __travelled__ down the gravely path. It was uneven, crooked, and the trees needed a trim. The sky was turning rapidly darker by the minute, he had to find her soon, he didn't want her out in conditions like this. He had to take her home. It took a few more minutes to get to the old black gate that welcomed him to the Graveyard. It was then that he saw her, crumpled up in a heap next to her fathers newly dug grave. He didn't think she even noticed when he was sitting down next to her with had his hand on her shoulder. She just moved into him and cried into his chest. Her fingers clung onto his shoulder as if it were a life raft._

This_ is why he loved Leah Clearwater, because she needed him._

That was why Jacob found it so hard to understand why time after time she came to him after scum-bag Sam had cheated on her. Why she came to _his _shoulder to cry on. Surely she knew she was breaking him to hear her broken over a man, no a _boy_, who didn't deserve her at all. She did know but she just didn't care. It was established a long time ago that he was only to be her best friend, there for when she needed him, to talk to her when she wanted to talk, hang out with her when she was bored. He would do this of course because she would overlook the fact that he was completely in love with her. Therefore allowing him to be around her. It was hard, it was very hard, but he would do it every time if he had to. What would she do without him? They both knew the answer to that question and it was Jacob's greatest fear that she would act upon it one day.

Leah would move on.

"You don't understand Jacob, I love him, I _need_ him, and that bitch took him from me!" She was looking straight into his eyes through her own red and puffy ones. Red from all the tears she had wasted on the worthless low life. She must have noticed him flinching at her words, but like everything else when it came to him, she chose to ignore it. It burned to hear her say those same words again, for her to declare her love for Sam User Uley. He had to hand it to the guy though; he had everyone eating out of the palm of his hand. He was the 'Golden Boy' of La Push, president of nearly every club at school. He was football captain and on the Honor Role. Every mother wanted him to be with their daughters and every father wanted to him fishing with them on the weekends. He was everyone's friend, and had the hottest girl in school. The whole Rez was on his arm. Even Billy preferred him to Jacob, and made no point in hiding it. Sam had everything. He also had the two things Jacob wanted most in the world, Leah Clearwater and future away from La Push. Sam was going to go to some College on the East Coast, far away here, from everything; he could start over, be whoever he wanted to be. Jacob envied him; he was tired of being invisible.

"Leah, how can you cry over Sam, wanting him back and call Em a bitch? She's practically a sister to you. We grew up with her, we _know _her. She has tried to apologize a million times and it has been only been two days! Sam has called ,what? Three times maybe?" It hurt to hear her call a girl he had known longer than her a bitch. Emily Young was one of the sweetest, kindest, funny girls he knew. She was his friend, one that saw him, not saw through him. Emily was one of the people than did not make Jacob feel like a brick in the wall, she listened to his opinions, more importantly she actually asked for them. She was a very important person in his life and she had made a mistake.

"She was drunk Leah, she didn't know what she was doing. You know she'd take it back if she could."

"She slept with my boyfriend at a party! How the hell can you stick up for her? You are my best friend, you are supposed to defend_ me_, take _my_ side, Jacob. You are mine, not Emily's. DON'T forget that." She was looking at him with such distaste, such anger, but he could also see a hint of jealousy in her eyes. He had seen this look on her before. On the night of the party.

_----_

_Jacob could remember the party well. It had started out with just him and Em who was down for the holidays. They had always been friends, longer then both he and Leah had, and on weekends like this it was their time to hang out. In times, when Leah was being particularly difficult, Jacob found himself looking forward to these weekends more and more. They were filled with funny, light-hearted jokes, baking and the feeling that he meant something to someone. _

_They had heard of a party going on in the house of some guy on the track team. Emily was so excited, it was her first real house party. She was really very shy but he loved that about her. She was all dresses up for the event and he had to admit that she did look stunning, absolutely beautiful. Second only to Leah, of course. She was wearing a red knee-length dress that was fitted to show off just the right amount of curves, but still had a modest quality. It was so… Emily._

" _What do you think?" She asked, her eyes sparking with nervousness. Emily was timid by nature, but there was nothing shy about that dress._

" _Wow. You are gonna kill tonight. Everyone is going to be drooling all over you. Don't worry though, I'll make sure they know they can't hit on one of my best friends. I'll protect you." He didn't know what he had said but a look of disappointment flashed across her face. He put his arm around her and she looked better already. They hopped into his Rabbit and were at the party in less than ten minutes._

_The party was in full swing by the time they arrived. Music was blaring and drink was on every surface. It wasn't long until he was dragged into some never ending drinking game where everyone loses resulting in even more alcohol in the system. He couldn't find Emily anywhere. He had no idea where she had gone. 'Oh shit' He thought. He searched every room, bathroom and couch in the house, and that was some feat. He finally decided that maybe he'd check the kitchen again when _she_ walked in, but he found someone else. What was she doing here? Leah was supposed to be cuddling up with Sam on the couch, or doing something else on that couch… the thought made the alcohol in his stomach want to come back up again._

" _Leah what you doing here?" The words came out in one big slur so they sounded more like. "Leewhachuooyere?" she just looked at him blankly._

" _Have you seen him?" Even his alcohol effected brain he knew who 'he' was._

" _No, I chathe wa with you." _Okay, that came out of much better. H_e was about to give himself a well deserved pat on the back when Leah interrupted him._

" _Well he wasn't. He didn't show up and then Kim texts me saying that Sam is all cosy with some slut at Embry's party. When I find the ho I will tear her head from her shoulders." Jacob was dragged through the house, through the sea a drunken teenagers, so fast he thought he was going to fall over. He was climbing the stairs one step at a time, but Leah had other ideas. She was sprinting as fast as she could around the human obstacles. Then he heard a scream. It was one of humiliation and hurt. It was coming from Leah. She was staring straight ahead at the scene in front of them. A very pissed Sam sprawled on top of a very drunk Emily. Leah slowly walked toward them. Every step was deliberate and echoed throughout the quiet room. She reached out and slapped Emily in the face._

" _How dare you?! I want you out of my life." Leah walked out of the room, tears falling. Emily was staring out the empty door. She turned to face him, looking straight into his eyes._

" _Why him?" and with that he went to follow Leah out of the room, he had to get out. Emily got out from under Sam and followed Jacob out._

"_I just wanted you to notice me. Why am I never enough for you?" she was sobbing behind him now. She was on the floor, her dress half torn, her make-up smudged, her hair a matted mess. He didn't know if Emily knew he had heard her so he left her there. The girl who loved him, for the girl he loved. He went to find Leah, because she needed him._

_-------_

He couldn't take it. He needed out. Leah turning on Emily so easily, so fast, scared him. He was afraid she would do the same to him. Okay, so he would never sleep with her boyfriend, but he could slip up at any moment and just wasn't ready to live his life with his eyes always on his back, with or without Leah.

"No." It was almost a whisper but she heard it. Her eyes burned holes into his skull.

"What? So you're Emily's now? You're her best friend, you're "in love" with her too, huh? " She spoke at the same volume as he did, but her voice was filled with venom where his was defiance. The quotation marks were apparent and they hurt.

"I don't belong to anyone, Leah. Emily understands that least. I don't belong to anyone but me and if you want to go back to that dick Sam then do it! But don't expect me to be around to help wipe up the tears this time. I can't, I just cannot do this, not again. I love you and we both know that, but I can't stick around much longer watching you waste your life, time and love on a guy who will never return it. Why am I never enough for you?"

The surprise was evident in the room. Jake could not believe he had just said that. He had used Emily's words. They stood there, in the room facing each other for a nameless amount of time. It could have been minutes, seconds or shorter, but when it was clear that Leah wasn't going to say anything, Jake turned on his heel and left.

***

It took Jake only a few minutes to get home. He sat on the edge of his bed, which squeaked, under his weight. Jacob was pure muscle but that didn't mean that he didn't have any brains. He kept up a solid B average and was taking extra classes to get into college. He really hoped he made it. He wanted desperately to get out of the small world that was La Push, his world. He wanted to earn getting into college, unlike some of his team mates who were going to try get a sports scholarship. Then again, it was nice to know he had that option as backup.

Jake never went to many parties, had only a few friends apart from Leah, mostly guys on the team, and never got in any trouble or fights. He was the perfect kid. So why did it feel so boring? He had only been with one girl, once ever. She was his best friend, who had a boyfriend and he was probably never going to get a repeat. He was going to get out of here, he had to, or else he was afraid he was going to just fade away, to be part of the wall forever.

Jacob lay back on his bed and found what he knew he would be searching for in a matter of minutes. Why delay the inevitable?

It was a pink tank top. It was hers. It still had her smell, even if it was diluted after time. Her florally, unique scent still clung to the fabric. He could still remember the feel of her body against his, her soft beautiful skin, her silky raven locks spread against his pillow, her lips saying his name.

_His hand was hitching her thigh up around his hip. His fingers were trembling, travelling down her perfect body. Her breath was restricted and was making the most wonderful sound. He wanted to be like this with her forever._

_He was inside her and he had never felt so good. She really was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen and her panting and gasping, calling his name and shivering under his touch, was just beyond his wildest imagination. He was pushing them both into new heights. They were travelling higher and higher and surely some time they were going to fall. She brought their entwined hands up to her face and kissed all of his fingers one by one. She had a look in her eyes that he had never seen on her before. It was one of both pure joy and ecstasy. She looked into his eyes and he was surprised to see the love he felt for her reflected there._

_She clamped around him and then they both were gone. They were rocking, riding out the waves of pure passion, lust and love. He would remember this moment forever, remember her this way forever, laying on his bed with him with that look in her eyes. With one final thrust they were both exhausted and fully satisfied._

_He slipped out of her and rolled onto his side. They were both trying to catch their breath. Chests rising, breathe in pants, faces flushed. She had never been more wonderful to him. Leah turned to face him, snuggling into his chest. She kissed her way up to his face and looked into his eyes._

" _You know, you're some sort of beautiful." Her hand traced the contours of his face, along his jaw-line. Then she whispered into his ear sending shivers through his body. " Sort of beautiful."_

_Exhausted they fell asleep in each other's arms, but not before Jacob thanked whichever god was looking out for him from above._

_When Jake woke the next morning the bed was empty, and she was gone. He knew this would be one of things that they just wouldn't talk about. After wallowing in self-pity for an hour or two he got out of bed, on his way to breakfast, when he felt something below his foot. It was the pink tank top she had worn the day before._

_------_

Jake was woken from his sleep by a loud banging on his front door. It had been a strange dream where nothing really made sense. He had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. It was as if it was trying to tell him something.

He looked out the window, it was dark outside and raining which wasn't unusual for La Push Washington. He made his way down to the front door. The banging got louder, more persistent. He reached for the handle to open the door to whoever the hell was banging so loud. He really wasn't in the mood to see… well, anyone. As soon as he did a figure was flung at him. They would have fallen over together if she didn't crash him into the wall. He was surprised; this was the last person he expected to see. Her dark eyes, and black hair, small petite body melding into his. Her lips so soft and perfect, he had never noticed it before.

Her lips crashed on his. There was hunger, passion, apologies and love in that kiss. She took his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. Her lips went back to his face, they travelled up to his ear and whispered the words Jacob had just dreamed her about saying.

"You always will be, enough for me."


End file.
